(DUE TO NATIONAL SECURITY PROCEDURE, THE POSTING OF THIS DUTY LOG WAS DELAYED UNTIL NOW.)
SECRET SERVICE DUTY LOG
Personnel: Agent Tork (on loan from CROWN/THIRD DETAIL)
Mon May 23 2011
0630 Woke up in "the belly of The Beast", having been successfully transferred from Oval Office supply closet by XXXXXXXXXXXXX, XXXXXXXXXXXXX, and XXXXXXXXXXX. Still without trousers, I had been wrapped in blankets for the trip in AF1 in the trunk of Limo1. Ears popping on descent into Ireland is what woke me. Not sure if anyone on Travel Detail (TD) had been alerted to my presence or condition. Spent time until touchdown practicing blind field-stripping my weapon.
0823 Alerted by XXXXXXXXXXXXXX that Renegade had been apprised of my position and condition, I was advised to wait in the trunk until after lunch at the US embassy. Was given leftover Shepherd's Pie in a large Starbucks cup. Told by XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX that it was a "regulation Irish Army MRE." Didn't taste too bad.
0940 Shepherd's Pie taking its toll. Trunk atmosphere reminiscent of gas chamber training during boot camp. Only worse, as there is no way out. Armored on the outside is also armored on the inside.
1430 Must have passed out. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX bangs on trunk, waking me. Says we're "on the move" and I'll be out shortly. Want to tell him that I've been out for a while already. Suddenly LOUD CRUNCH. Vehicle stops. Yelling. Running about. Are we under some kind of attack? Big Mac Attack, apparently. Next voice I hear is Renegade's: "Smooth move, lard ass. You owe Renaissance and I big time for covering. This is embarrassing."
1435 Time for my exit comes minutes later once R&R board Marine One for Moneygall. XXXXXXXXXX of TD presents me with a KILT. I stay with The Beast until nightfall.
Tues May 24, 2011
0600 "Too much of a liability," I'm told by Duty Officer XXXXXXXXXXXX. Instead of completing the trip, I'm carrying a diplomatic pouch for some assistant's assistant to US Ambassador Rooney back to the States. I can tell by the weight that the pouch is empty - this poor lackey is escorting ME back home. Guess I won't be making any road trips anytime soon.
12:03 AM ~ Early edition of Washington Post secured to assess threat/damages of compromised Tork photograph picked up via various Internet sources and published.
Paper files story as a Lifestyle piece, featuring unidentified 'streaker' and his tech gadget of choice. Public seems more concerned with global events i.e. war(s), earthquake, tsunami, mideast revolutions. Dodged a potential PR nightmare for Service, POTUS, and prudish RW press and public detractors.