Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Barely There (Duty Log/Agent Tork)

(DUE TO NATIONAL SECURITY PROCEDURE, THE POSTING OF THIS DUTY LOG WAS DELAYED UNTIL NOW.)

SECRET SERVICE DUTY LOG
Detail: Travel
Personnel: Agent Tork (on loan from CROWN/THIRD DETAIL)

Mon May 23 2011

0630 Woke up in "the belly of The Beast", having been successfully transferred from Oval Office supply closet by XXXXXXXXXXXXX, XXXXXXXXXXXXX, and XXXXXXXXXXX. Still without trousers, I had been wrapped in blankets for the trip in AF1 in the trunk of Limo1. Ears popping on descent into Ireland is what woke me. Not sure if anyone on Travel Detail (TD) had been alerted to my presence or condition. Spent time until touchdown practicing blind field-stripping my weapon.

0823 Alerted by XXXXXXXXXXXXXX that Renegade had been apprised of my position and condition, I was advised to wait in the trunk until after lunch at the US embassy. Was given leftover Shepherd's Pie in a large Starbucks cup. Told by XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX that it was a "regulation Irish Army MRE." Didn't taste too bad.

0940 Shepherd's Pie taking its toll. Trunk atmosphere reminiscent of gas chamber training during boot camp. Only worse, as there is no way out. Armored on the outside is also armored on the inside.

1430 Must have passed out. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX bangs on trunk, waking me. Says we're "on the move" and I'll be out shortly. Want to tell him that I've been out for a while already. Suddenly LOUD CRUNCH. Vehicle stops. Yelling. Running about. Are we under some kind of attack? Big Mac Attack, apparently. Next voice I hear is Renegade's: "Smooth move, lard ass. You owe Renaissance and I big time for covering. This is embarrassing."

1435 Time for my exit comes minutes later once R&R board Marine One for Moneygall. XXXXXXXXXX of TD presents me with a KILT. I stay with The Beast until nightfall.

Tues May 24, 2011

0600 "Too much of a liability," I'm told by Duty Officer XXXXXXXXXXXX. Instead of completing the trip, I'm carrying a diplomatic pouch for some assistant's assistant to US Ambassador Rooney back to the States. I can tell by the weight that the pouch is empty - this poor lackey is escorting ME back home. Guess I won't be making any road trips anytime soon.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

"Go Towards The Light" Isn't Always Good

Great way to start a Third Detail Monday. Shift just starts. @AgentHijaz says, "Better get upstairs! POTUS is looking for you! And suit up!" Suit up? In the middle of the night? But okay.
Then BAM, walk out right in front of the TV cameras.
Idiot! I think with the delay they were able to shave the frame but still... Very embarrassing. Sorry, Renegade! Sorry, Mom!
— Agent Tork

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Agent Hijaz ~ Duty Log

12:03 AM ~ Early edition of Washington Post secured to assess threat/damages of compromised Tork photograph picked up via various Internet sources and published.
Paper files story as a Lifestyle piece, featuring unidentified 'streaker' and his tech gadget of choice. Public seems more concerned with global events i.e. war(s), earthquake, tsunami, mideast revolutions. Dodged a potential PR nightmare for Service, POTUS, and prudish RW press and public detractors.



Friday, March 25, 2011

Agent Hijaz ~ Duty Log

12:03 AM ~ Building blueprints accessed to find possible escape routes
≠ NA, Recent renovations render documents obsolete and useless

1:04 AM ~ Fire Drill planned, then deemed too disruptive to sleeping family
≠ NA, Aborted & abandoned plan of action.
~ Tork advised to sit tight till morning.

8:50 AM Tork checks in via Blackberry. Anxious to return to active duty and understandably snippy with Agents working to help him accomplish that task.

9:48 AM ~ Dry Cleaners deputized for classified Operation assistance and extraction
~ Brady offers to document for future tactical missions.

11:55 AM ~ Extraction proceeds. Mixed signals leaves Tork exposed and documented by grounds crew, tourist bus, and passersby. Grounds crew tackles Tork and retains him in custody until Agents vouch for identity and supply fresh monkey suit for perp walk to Lockup for further investigation and resolution.




9:42 PM ~ 2nd Extraction complete. Tork treated for severe dehydration and possible hypothermia. Sugary snacks administered for hypoglycemic balancing.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Agent Hijaz ~ Duty Log

1:08 AM Appraised of change to POTUS schedule: Early return from South American trip.

1:10 AM ~ Heads up given to Agents to tidy detritus accumulation during his absence.

1:15 AM - 4:15 PM ~ Agents work efficiently to ready White House for POTUS arrival.


4:18 PM Distress call from Agent Tork in Residence, compromised and trapped at inopportune and off-limits location. POTUS arrival imminent.

4:32 PM ~ Agent Brady offers up stowed personal items to remedy Agent Tork's situation. No time for exchange of same as Blackhawk delivers POTUS from Andy.

4:45 PM ~ Agent Sticky attempts to waylay Oval Office entry by locking doors from inside. POTUS unfazed and resourcefully finds an unlocked entrance.

5:00 PM - 10:30 PM Castle abuzz with incoming 1st Family, Agents resume duties upon their homecoming. ~ Tork's absence covered by Agents Freckles, Hijaz, and Brady.

10:35 PM  All quiet in the Residence as family put to bed. Tork continues to be pinned down and immobile. ~ Brainstorming of team begins in earnest.

11:05 PM ~ Lederhosen called upon for go-to sleepwalking solution used in previous occurrences. 
≠ NA, not on duty

Friday, February 18, 2011

Secret Bunny Suit

Renegade had to suit up for a presidential tour of the Clean Room @ Intel. Despite what was reported in the press as just a 'window tour', he did don the required 'bunny suit' to take an extensive stroll inside of the facility. I submit this cel phone photo as proof and as a e validating entry into the archives.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009